Sunday Funday

Mentally Beat...

I'm exhausted...It's only Tuesday and I'm mentally exhausted.  I'm trying not to over analyze things and trying to just get myself in gear, but I can't help but think.

Anxiety.  That's what I'm feeling.  Super Anxious.  I'm supposed to take three deep breathes and move on or walk away and do something else but I'm finding that incredibly hard today. 

Sunday was really hard.  The goal was to get oil changed and grocery shop.  Got to oil change, but when I got to grocery shopping I was standing near the deli and a dude, a pretty tall hot dude totally smiled at me.  I could feel myself blushing, but I couldn't eye contact back...what the hell is wrong with me.  He was a nice looking, cute guy!?! And I couldn't muscle up the energy to smile... fail.   I could feel the anxiety- I lost track of everything that needed to be done and wandered the store trying to figure out what I needed.... When I got to the check out line, he was there!  But he figured, "yup- bitch is crrrazy" and didn't look at me again...sigh...epic fail.  Maybe I just had way too much on my mind.  "A", being home alone, my car, and I just wanted to get home FAST.

Supposed to take three deep breathes...

Here we go again...

I've been taught, and finally learning (as much as it sucks), if he likes you, he'll call.  So what the hell happens between being friends, laughing, great date, meeting his friends, sex, more sex, and now not hearing from him....seems off doesn't it?  What gives?

What do I want...

I find myself asking a super serious question, what the HELL do I want.  I've got a lot of changes coming up soon.  One includes relocating.  Though it's only an hour away, I won't know ANYONE.  I'll be in a new building, it's me and the cat. 

 I don't want it to be just me anymore.  I want my friends, I want love, I want someone else to laugh with and ultimately, I'm just ready for something...maybe it's my move, maybe it'll be something big.  I don't know.  But I know I'm ready and that I'm putting myself out there...

I don't just want the icing on the cake, I want everything that's included in the cake.  All the ingredients, build from a foundation.

Constant..

Consistent.  I need to be more consistent.  I know I can be a total hot mess, but I need to find some consistency in a routine.  I think I like being scattered all the time but I think as I'm getting older- I'm effing tired!

Maybe it's that I've been running around like a mad woman for the past three weeks but I'm ready to just get back into my swing of things. 

Also, on another note, I met a NICE guy.  Like really nice guy.  100% NOT what you would expect for me to choose, at all.   I'm keeping him silent for a while, until I figure out whats going on....stay tuned

I'm 27 and 3/4....

I was abruptly woken up this morning to reality.  That I'm 27 and 3/4, living at my parents house and being woken up becasue "my cat" did something again- I digress.

I'm coming off of an amazing three weeks.  I was part of an incredible meeting in Atlanta, then jetted to Houston where I was one of four amazing women working our asses off and back to NYC for an international ballet competition and gala.  In between, I had fun.  My attitude was awesome, fun and I love what I'm doing right now and embracing my singleness. 

I need to remember these moments of embracing my singleness.  How much I impact people lives everyday.  Not to put myself on a pedestal but I'm awesome.  I'm fun, flirty, and laughing hard- prob one of the most important things ever; just to laugh. 

In the past, I've always come off an incredible busy time with some depressing moments and I'm really trying NOT to fall into it.  Yes, there are things that I need to focus on but I'm 27 and 3/4, why can't I still have fun?  I'm working on myself, staying happy, being awesome but why is it that people don't think I'm living in reality?  I'm panicing all the time about being budget consciencous, nervous nelly about work, why don't people see that?

Keep Breathing...

Never say "no" to new jobs- especially if you want to succeed in your position. 

So, as of 6 pm yesterday, the decision was made for me to travel to Atlanta today.  I'll be working with another CEO and then onto Houston by Thursday.  DEEP BREATHES.  I know my shit.  They've asked me because I'm good and I'm capable.

I will remember to be humble

I will remember that I am smart.

I will remember to be kind and thankful

I will remember to be blessed with opportunities

I will rock

I will be amazing and fabulous

I will continue to breathe deeply.