What the HELL is wrong with Men?

I find myself asking this EVERYDAY lately. I'm so over men.

First Example
Scene: Local Bar
Participants: Myself, Friend (who we'll call Soon To Be Married- AKA STBM) and my crush

Chatting away, talking about local co-ed softball league and how I can get myself involved. When my crush, and he knows it, promptly announces

"Susie, I'll hook you up with my X wives team. It's totally an awesome co-ed team"

Um, you're my crush. Granted you didn't think about what you just said. But WHY in the hell would anyone who would want to get involved with you romantically, physically, want ANYTHING to do with you x wife?

Second Example
Scene-I'm in bed. Who the hell knows where the participant is
Participants: Myself and N. the Dick

Text Message: "You are the one you know. You fucked it up"

UM, excuse me. I think you have the nickname DICK for a reason

Third Example:
Scene: Dinner at bar of nice brick oven Italian place
Participants: Myself and Date who we'll call Shortie

"So, this month, I spend a lot"
Check comes.
I grab
He lets me

A few minutes later, he says, " Don't you know you want to come home with me"

I'm DONE! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!! DONE... I will NOT settle for anything then the best. So cliche but COME ON. I'm so tired of the misfits, where and how am I gonna meet the right one for me?

I want to date. I want to be swooned. I want chocolate and flowers and little cards that say "I love you" to be found amongst my things. None of this garbage that is. What am I doing wrong??

When asking STBM about dating, flirting and flowers, etc. She told me that she believed it does not happened. But I don't get it. If a man likes you, he'll do EVERYTHING in his power to see you, date you, call you. He'll WANT to be with you. Isn't that how its supposed to happen?

Ugh.... H E L P

Chocolate Cake

Why must you be sooo good.... you knew I needed you today...esp after the work I've been doing!

Travel

So here I am. I'm in Richland, WA til Saturday evening- Great.

On my way, I had a lay over in Salt Lake City. EXACTLY one year ago I had a fling, in Salt Lake City. The second I touched down in Salt Lake I started to reminance. It was pretty badass of me. Meeting a newly "friended" someone in a random city. Not one of that "I'll meet you in St. Louis", no no no, he met me in Salt Lake City. What the HELL was I thinking?

Last year, I was able to go to Hawaii. It was incredible. I was by myself, and slept and ate and slept and ate and was the HOT single Blonde on the beach that you knew men stared at because she's so independent and where's her husband... Anyway, it happened about two weeks prior to leaving, I met a guy. He was cute, dark, handsome and fun. Met for drinks. No hanky panky and I was leaving. Emails, photos, all the fun stuff was send back and forth...I was so far ahead time wise...but he was convinced. He was meeting ME in Salt Lake City. How sexy...so I thought.

I remember meeting him at his hotel. It was such a weird place- typical West Coast hotelier. I remember the anticipation waiting near his elevator. He opened the door and he was wearing dark jeans, blue shirt and a fantastic leather jacket. I don't even remember what I looked like- probably hell since I had been working the entire day. We went up to the hotel bar and it was like everything stood still. The cuddling, the kissing...he couldn't keep his hands off...kinda good...but I felt it. That instinct when it's just not that right...almost weird...

We went down to his hotel room...(Side bar- SUSIE! What the hell were you thinking!?). Had a bit of a make out session and I left. Or rather, he told me he was sleepy. WTF. He's 30, single, and going to sleep. uhhh..ok...Cue number 1 that this might be wrong.

Next day, I finish up work and we head to leave to a different area of Salt Lake for the night before heading back east. Hotel pool- more kissing..a little bit of passion finally turns into an explosion. Nothing bad or horrible about it. Honestly, for the first time in a while, I had multiple orgasms. If anything, I was going to milk this for all it was worth. I mean he did come to meet me in Salt Lake.

We finally hit the next hotel. Both physically exhausted. I'm not crazy- I just have ways. I travel alone, I make messes, I sleep with the air conditioner all the way up. Well, he beat me. After a quick romp- that is all this seemingly was coming to. A romp. I couldn't take being with him anymore. If I wasn't going to be having sex- then why the hell am I with him. (does that make me a bad person? Maybe he was just using me too).

Getting back to bed...he puts on a eye patch thingy. Who does that? and I remember it was 8:30 at night and he wanted to go to bed...I don't want a grandpa! WTF....He rolled over, and I was left there watching some lame program on TV. I couldn't wait to get home.

I had a fling a year ago. He met me in Salt Lake City. It was thrilling, awesome, but gosh I was soo glad to go home and get rid of him!!!