Superman and Lex Luthor

Superman had friends. Heck, he even had a great team mate in Lois. But do you think Lex and him were ever buddy buddies? What if they really were somewhere at sometime? College of super heros like in X-men? Some of them were friends before friend-emies...

Sigh.

We all have friends that come and go. Good ones. We grow out of them and others grow until we get really old. But what about a life where you had many short term friends?

I've always had friends. But I can count on one hand the ones who are the deepest of deep. And a few of them it didn't happen until later in life and others have been here for a short time and others, well they're family. Friends shouldn't judge. Friends should understand.

You know what is worse then a fight with a friend or the loss of a friend- a pack of girls who at one time were your friends. ew- just the sound of it is horrible.

I think my freshman and jr year of college really began to define me as a person. I did well those two years- a little Miss Popular, if you will. Dancer, Choreographer, the girl who had it all, including the buff out gym rat nutritionist of a boyfriend. Well, right around then, I lost a high school friend. We simply grew apart. It's been so long, I honestly couldn't even tell you why we stopped talking. It just happened. Maybe because I spend a lot of time wrapped up in Mr. Nutrition and his friends (all of whom grew up since pre-k). Boys can do that-

Anyway, with these new found friends came new adventures. But life has a way of morphing and changing and thus I could only follow. Moving my path to NYC to dance and finish school. Sure they came to one performance. I was ahead of all of them. They were all so stable and monotone. Here I was, unpredictable, different, and alone in NYC. Well, Mr. Nutritionist, as we know didn't last. Cue melt down. Again there's the knock on the door- opportunities and changes a bound.

Well, those friends- let's talk about that. It's always wanted that kubya moment. But how? I was an outsider from the beginning. Sure I saw one good girlfriend out of the group. For so long, it was just her and I. Then Mr. Nutrition got married. Cue Melt down. Really, I'm an outsider. Truly. If anything, sure I was still one couples friend but when did they call? Never. They still had all the others to gravitate too. That's ok, I said. Well one holiday- a big one, ball, Times Square...you know, well the gang came to me! Last minute, but they did and slept on the floor, three to a bed, cramped up all good. Def fun but then what. Nothing.

So the couple who I still chatted with, get engaged. Great. Wonderful. Just want a super single girl wants to know. Well, here it comes (I swear, I should right a song or do a dance the way this is going), life changed. I came home. Job was a mess. Life was a mess. Cue Melt down. I couldn't go celebrate- I was getting my new car (which is a whole other story all in itself). I apologized. Then I was dating...a really nice one when I went for a dress fitting (oh yea, I was now in bridal party along with Ms. Nutrition).

Cue Awkward. I then started to question where I belonged in this whole scheme of things. I understand, it's her day. She's allowed to be crazy, she's allowed to be selfish. But something on my end is not feeling right. So months go by, finally here comes the shower, bachelorette party, etc. Oy, this year has been a big one for me. A BIG change and I'm embracing it. I'm concentrating on ME. Do you hear me, I'm working on ME.

I never went. We're all busy. I'm really busy. I never went.

Cue nasty girls. Cue hateful email. So, in order to possibly get past and close the book, I politely wrote an email stating, " I'm sorry but I'm gracefully declining to be in the wedding party" . I knew there would be consequences. And honestly, me being there was just about her. She needed a body to assist the many many groomsmen. Well, I don't want to be that body. It will never "be as it used to". We're changing, we're morphing.

Breaking up with friends is hard. Probably harder then boyfriends. A girlfriend should be there when it matters the most. Sure, I'll cry. Especially when another girl, who is just ridiculous says " don't take it personal, she's busy, maybe after her wedding". tskt tskt.

Well I hope those gears start up again soon. Coming clean and honest with yourself is always best. New doors can only open up. Head held high..

On a more productive note- I think I spotted Superman in the grocery store today! Even laughed with him. Now if I could only have gotten the courage, when he was loading his groceries into the car to give him my number. Drats!