What's it worth...

Dear Self,

What's it worth? Is it worth the aggrivation? Is it worth the feeling so crappy? Would you rather feel like this the rest of your life or would you like to fly and be forever fabulous?

Thanks for thinking,
Susie

I thought I was doing the right thing; answering an Ex. Ding Dong- NOPE. Despite ranging hormones, I answered. Instead of feeling joyful, I got " Susie, do you know what you did?" " Susie, put yourself in my shoes", "Susie, you really have no idea what you did"..

If you're asking, "Susie, what did you actually do?"...I'll tell you.

During post break-up, I was asked to send back a piece of clothing. I yeah yeahed and said I would, said I did- just so I could get this person out of my life. Well, you guessed it- I never sent it and when I moved, I donated it. Fuck him. He was being a pest. Sure I was immature about it but WHATEVER it was almost 4 years ago..we're still going to drag this on?

His answer to me was the lying. He couldn't deal with the fact that I had lied about sending his piece of clothing. If it was lying about cheating, that be one thing. And sure, this is a bit of the stealing..but really? REALLY? Who died and made him a Christian?

I had a fantastic weekend, a great class last night. He decides to text message me. Can't even man up and call to say he is still angry with me. Ruins my entire night. I still don't understand, this is being blown 100% out of porportion. So I asked myself this moring, is it worth putting up with all this nonsense? Because that's all it is- nonsense. And my answer is NO.

So I deleted all senses of him. He needs to grow up, get a life and I'm moving on. This is ridiculous and guess what- I had a hard time orgasming with him anyway. Any you really know what- (this is a good one)...I remember how horrible it was when he found out how many people I slept with. How he went to the Dr because he was convinced that I had something wrong. That I smelled wrong. TOXIC...DEAR SELF- NOTE TO SELF>..WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT AGAIN?

I rest my case. I'm done.